Will You Marry Me?

Really, there is nothing to hate here - or very little - because the rest of it seems like they are goodies disguised as baddies. For example, look at this number eight, or is it seven?

Well, the next bad thing about Nepal is that it's so easy to get married. So easy.






This is a land where arranged marriages account for over eighty percent of the marriages. What they call 'love marriages' is still a strange phenomenon - but gaining momentum. They just can't understand how you fall in love before getting married. They have a popular saying here, "Marry first, love later" or a more vulgar one among the women goes like this, "The pipe (read penis) entered and love followed".

Well, being a bidesh (foreigner) I get offered a girl at least once a week. Even girls who have boyfriends who they are going to marry, like this Newari friend of mine, have tried to get me to marry her. It happened last week. I knew she had a boyfriend, who she's been in love with for at least one year (they fall in love here, but if the parents don't approve, then marriage won't happen. So it is possible for one to be in love with someone else for four years, only for her parents to force her to marry another man - who she probably meets for the first time during the wedding - and she can do nothing about it) Those in the cities especially fall in love, the lucky ones go ahead and marry their loved ones, hence they call it 'love marriage', and the unlucky ones are forced to marry someone else in an 'arranged marriage'.

Okay, so this Newari girl (very, very pretty, btw) tells me, "Will you marry me?" Just like that. Out of the blue. We are talking about music, about Anil Singh and Narayan Gopal, and she just says it as though she's asking me to pass her the salt. At first I think she is humming the lyrics of Anil Singh's song, "Will you marry me", but she's looking at me with her large eyes, enchanting eyes, and I can't resist the charm I see in her eyes.

A Nepali beauty in the documentary, Untouchable Love

"What about your boyfriend?"

"He doesn't matter. If you want to marry me, let's go to my parents now and we set a date."

I know they have special marriage months. If I agree, I can be married the first day of the next marriage month - which is soon. I tell her I'll give her a reply the next day.

I ask her friend, who says, "She's thinking about a Visa. She wants to leave Nepal, so if she marries you, she thinks you'll take her away."

A Nepali girl and her love child. Untouchable Love

I wonder if Uganda is better than Nepal?

I haven't yet given her an answer, because she is so pretty, and so tempting, I wish I could post here her photo, but that won't be so ethical and might ruin her current relationship with her boyfriend, who I have met and is a really nice guy, like most Nepalis, but I will have to find a way of at least getting a kiss from her, if not tricking her into getting into my bed before I say no.

Ooops, no. Not a good idea. I should just tell her no.

But last week, a daughter offered me her mother, who is a widow. She told me "My mother is very sad. She can't find another man to marry her because she is a widow. Will you be my new father?" (I later wrote a short story about it, which got published in The Kathmandu Post. Read it please. http://www.ekantipur.com/2010/07/04/features/the-young-matchmaker/317795/

The girl was only twelve years old. Her mother is about thirty, and still very good looking, and I had to use my best language to say no and still remain friends with both of them.

So should I put this among the things I hate about Nepal?

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